Research vs. Clinic

It is with great shame that I return to my blog. The past three weeks have held so much, from frantically pulling all-nighters and analyzing data to traveling to Seattle to present those data to trying to take over a project in Haiti where I must see patients.

This has been chalk-full of strange experiences, not limited to my absolutely splendid time in Seattle. The city itself did not seem like much special to me, but how nice it was to be back amongst researchers! It was so nice to try to keep up with all the ideas and research being presented. All the "top minds" of what my research centered on (oxygen uptake kinetics of skeletal muscle) were there, and many of the major talks centered around that area. It was invigorating. So invigorating that it has me worried about med school. Worried because I am "becoming" an expert in research and a specific research area, only to put it on hold and get clinical training. The problem with that is that I haven't enjoyed the clinical part of my days in Haiti all that much. It's too much like work that a monkey could do. No real problem solving. Just doing what's called for in a clinical situation. If symptom X, give drug Y. I miss being in the lab, generating ideas, arguing about what some strange signal means. I miss discovery. I could be doing a post-doc in a top lab in the world, and instead I am going back to school. I could also be going to school in San Diego, where one of the best physiology departments in the world is, but I am not. In the end, this is probably the right move. It’s just hard. I wanted to go to med school for several reasons, not the least among them to study cancer and work with cancer patients. Last night as I was beating myself up over this, I stumbled upon an article on lactate metabolism in cancer. It was very intriguing. As you probably know if you’re reading this, my two areas as of now are Lactate Metabolism and VO2 on-kinetics. If I did a post-doc or went to San Diego, I would be working on straight physiology, not combining my areas with cancer. As it is, I will be bringing a completely unique viewpoint to studying cancer. This feels like a huge gamble right now, but I think it’s correct (I hope it's correct). In the meantime, I am hoping to continue with my love of physiology, collaborating for experiments when possible, presenting at physiology meetings, etc. I find myself up at all hours of the night thinking and analyzing our data and just trying to “get through” the days in the clinic. This work is completely fascinating. Hopefully my gamble will pay off.

Also, in digging out old data I found a few old writings I will post here. Comments always welcomed!