Hand out

This is almost not worth the post. It’s not worth the post because it’s fatiguing and paints Haiti in a poor light. But what other light can I paint them in then my experience here? I cannot give you someone else’s experience. Only mine.

In the ongoing discussion over what is appropriate, I was recently explaining to someone how in medicine treating an “n of 1” is your job on a daily basis. A patient comes in (number in study = 1) and you must use what you know to treat them. The knowledge you know was generated from many studies in which large numbers (n>1) were used to uncover the most common responses. Thus, statistics are used to determine what the error is with which you may say a treatment works when it really doesn’t. If we just treated one person and determined medicine on that, then medicine would be in world of trouble. That one person may have been an outlier.

Thus when I go down the street and kids beg for money, I cannot escape the idea that my inclination to “give” to the “n of 1”, the child who is sitting there, is actually not based in reality. What does my giving do besides make me feel good inside? Perhaps this child eats for one more day, and then what? Westerners cannot come over and hand out money so that other countries may thrive. But we can influence their society so that they can thrive on their own. Perhaps we are still afraid of that; perhaps we don’t want that – we want to give them handouts so we can dictate how they behave. We can then throw out presidents we don’t like, presidents that are for the poor people, the oppressed.

What is wrong with Haiti? Why do tourists not visit here? The news is full of horrible stories about Haiti. A friend from home asked me if people were poor because they did drugs and drank so much. That isn’t the Haiti I know. The Haiti I know and see is full of poor people. Poor people that want your money.

There is a cute kid that always comes to my office at the clinic to play. I usually play with him. Today, I realize his speech is full of “Ba’m” this and “Ba’m” that (give me!). Today he just came in and searched through my bag. He found three packs of gum still in a larger wrapper. He asked for some and I said ok. He then proceeded to take out the packs of gum and try to leave with them. An older man (a social worker) walked in. I know this man. He is always very nice to me and speaks with me. I tell the child no, that he can have one piece of gum. I have to grab him and take the packs of gum out of his hands (actually pry them out of his hands). I give the man and the child a piece; I also chew a piece. The man talks some and then leaves. The child proceeds to grab my pens and sticks them in his pockets and says he wants them. He tries to leave. I am disgusted. I have to grab him again, dig in his pockets to get my pens. He finally pouts off, only to return and ask for money. I am disgusted. I say no. He goes away.

I sit at my desk and reflect. He blatantly tried to steal my pens when I wasn’t looking. His mom has a job here at the clinic. They eat. Just then I am interrupted by the man that was in earlier, the social worker. In his best English he says “Give me ten dollars.” I ask him for what and he cannot explain. I tell him firmly no. I also don’t feel compelled to explain myself. I am a student who is severally thousands of dollars in debt, who has decided to come here for six months to try to help, and you walk in here to ask ME for money? And with no reason? We talk some in creole; I firmly tell him no, I don’t have money for him.

I understand these people are poor. I understand that these people don’t live great lives. I don’t understand why the folks with jobs feel it is ok to ask the white students for money. The sad thing is I think many white expats here feel some “prestige” of being white here. Many here treat you like you are rich and special. It’s disgusting.

For how long have we given handouts? For how long will we give handouts? And for what? So we can be above them and dictate their moves? Own them?

Can we blame them for continually seeking these handouts when we continually give them? Is there no better way?

In Sinclair Lewis’ Arrowsmith, a physician-scientist goes to an island infected with the plague with what he is almost positive is the antidote (think penicillin for syphilis). Only he has not done a scientific study on it. His mentor preaches over and over the importance of staying strong and seemingly “cold-hearted” in his approach. There is no scientific evidence suggesting it works, so he MUST have a control group that gets placebo, for the medicine may not actually work. The young doctor struggles with this, as he knows his mentor is right, but also thinks what he has will work. Ultimately, more are saved if he can show with a well-controlled study it is effective.
I digress. I lost my train of thought. Our ride came and I had to pack up and go. On the way out a woman stopped me to ask me for money. This was a clinic employee, not a beggar. I just said no. When it rains it pours. Of course, they aren't all like this. I spent my sunday having a beautiful brunch with haitian friends from the clinic. But those aren't the things that get to you here. Those moments sustain you. I apologize for not writing more about the beautiful moments here.

As of now my opinion is that hand outs are a terrible thing. They breed the wrong attitude. What we need are Haiti-friendly policies in government; policies that support their direction as an independent nation. Policies that aren’t about making people feel good, but rather are about creating a sustainable environment in Haiti and other developing countries. That is something I can get behind. That is something worth giving money to.